I want to see you as you are now.

I have absolutely no motivation, which is turning out to be a slight problem. There's only 2 days of classes this week because of Thanksgiving, but that means I now have Property on Monday. Double the work for Monday. Oh joy. Plus I really don't care about partitioning land right now, since I don't actually own any.

I think I really need to learn to start reading the Globe on paper and not online. All those stupid comments people post after stories make me so mad. I get the whole free speech thing, say what you want, ect., but some people are just nasty. Not everything these days has to be about religion and you can't force yours down other people's throats. First amendment says freedom of religion and separation of church and state too.

Speaking of religion, everyone should read A Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs. He tries to follow the Bible literally for a year. It's hilarious. Stoning people with pebbles haha.

So finals are soon. Like very soon. Which means I should most definitely get my ass in gear and actually start outlines for contracts and property.

But I really don't want to. Well property won't be all that bad. Contracts will probably be the death of me, since I'm pretty sure I understand basically nothing in that class. At least I alreadyt got cold-called, so no more of that.

It's day three of law school and I'm drowning in work. I get to sleep til 8 am tomorrow though, so maybe that will help. I don't think I remember what sleeping til 8 feels like on a weekday.

I'm done with college. EEEEP! I'm not sure how I feel about this. Part of me feels like I should be all nostalgic about the whole college experience. But the rest of me really just can't wait for my life to start, as corny as that sounds. Hence the degree in political science and not literature. I'm wicked excited for law school in the fall, maybe a little too enthusiastic for it, but whatevs.

But I think I'm even more excited for my roadtrip to South Carolina. In 22 days I will be off with my three amazing friends for a couple of days of beach and fun. I'm even stoked to drive a car for 17 hours. It reminds me of driving to Canada to visit the relatives.

But I should probably get back to packing up my room so that my mother doesn't kill me when she shows up later and nothing's packed.

So freaking excited that my senior distinction presentation is FINALLY over.

Today blows for multiple reasons:

1. It's accepted students day. They are EVERYWHERE. And my campus is tiny!
2. I meant to get up at 9 to work on my thesis. Clearly I woke up at 12. Not cool. Granted I went to bed at 3 and didn't get much sleep the day before, so I guess I was due to sleep in. But I don't have time!
3. I will be spending my waking hours (minus a play, softball, work and law school open house) working on this thesis until Tuesday. Shoot me in the face. For serious.

But I'm seeing Ali in her play today, so that will be exciting!

I read in the NY Times yesterday that the Iowa Supreme Court ruled the state's ban on gay marriage unconstitutional, which is super exciting. Granted, my excitement could just be part of my upbringing and where I live (I mean, MA is not liberal at all or anything). I mean, just reading some of those hateful comments after articles which granted gay the same constitutional rights as everyone else makes me so angry. All I can think is: how, EXACTLY, is it hurting you? Going against your religion shouldn't count. Separation of church and state. Not everyone is the same religion and you can't force yours upon someone else, thanks to the First Amendment. Plus, not all churches have to sanction gay marriage, and many don't. The majority can't dictate who is covered by the Constitution and who isn't. All Americans are covered whether you like it or not. You can't make someone less of a human just because of who they love.

And sorry if I offended anyone reading this, though not many people do. That wasn't my intention. It's just a rant, because hateful comments anger me beyond words.

my bracket just got shot to hell.

Poor life decisions.

Why am I such a procrastinator? Why did I have to inherit that trait from my father? Stupid thesis paper presentation is due next Tuesday, and clearly I accomplished nothing over spring break. Well, one paragraph. That's all the motivation I had. One lousy paragraph which I'll probably spend hours rewriting because I'm anal and a perfectionist.

Blerg.

Oh jeez! Why is everything in my life always due at the same time? Don't people realize that me, multiple papers, a thesis paper and midterms do not mix very well!

I DON'T DO WELL UNDER PRESSURE!

Guess I'll be a paper-writing, researching, studying fiend over spring break. Awesome.

So I've recently decided I need to actually be a grown up and speak to people on the phone.  Why did e-mail have to become really popular when I was learning to communicate with people other than my friends? And by recently, I mean I've been attempting this little feat for about a year, ever since I had to start answering the phones at work.

i have also decided I will actually accomplish things this weekend. Boston Public Library, here I come. Lots of thesis reading/outlining to do.

I have made it a record 5 days without caffeine. That's happened, never. Maybe I'll actually make it through Lent this year. We shall see.

I haven't seen my roommate in a million years. I have no idea where she's been.

Swan Lake whooped my ass yesterday. I think that's all that really needs to said about that one.

Spring break is in a week. I'm cherishing those 2 days off.

Why did I choose now to attempt to rid myself of my caffeine addiction? Poor life decision. Poor life decision.

God I love to be a slug on the weekends ... even if it means I have an obsene amount of work to do tomorrow. Though, being a slug makes me feel extremely guilty for not having accomplished anything. But that's really nothing new. I'm always feeling guilty about something. And of course, it's always something so incredibly stupid.

I really love my internship. It's the perfect combination of research (being left to my own devices) and attending various events (interacting with other people). I went to an event on Friday, in which I finally got to go inside the MA House of Representatives. I also got a pop quiz on the districts of the members in the caucus. I think I passed.

Orchestra on Thursday night was ridiculous, in a totally funny way. In the Mazurka (go ahead, laugh out loud) movement of Swan Lake, we had basically an entire page of silence because the clarinets have a solo there, which we clearly didn't play. On the second run through, I played for half, realized I was playing by myself, turned bright red and stopped. We sort of got it on the third attempt. It was not a pretty sight. On a lighter note, Shannon brought in dinosaurs for us as props while playing Jurassic Park.

I saw a production of the Vagina Monologues at Simmons today. Amazingly funny and very well done.

I'm not even remotely tired, which is annoying. I wanted to get an early start tomorrow to make up for not doing anything today. But I have to go to the library (gasp!) I always find it humorous that I love to read, seriously I could spend hours reading, yet I hate the library at school. Minus the two classes I have there, I've been in that building a total of maybe 10 times since freshman year.

Date with Twin was a success. Totally got her hooked on Chuck, which is fabulous.

I have no intention of watching the Oscars tomorrow (or technically tonight) evening, despite the fact that Hugh Jackman's hosting. I'm suprisingly not in the mood.

Clearly I'm updating this again so quickly because I, once again, have no motivation to do work. I just want to crawl into bed and sleep until class tomorrow.

Today, I learned more about starting your own website than I ever wanted know. Seriously ... I can use a computer, for the most part. I don't even know where to begin comphrending the phraseology on creating your own website. Oh the things interns don't get paid to research. Thankfully I love research.

I'm reading the weirdest short story for History through Fiction. Not sure how I feel about it yet. But hopefully it's better than the last book we read. Worst.story.ever.for serious.

I'm sort of excited Thursday's shows are all repeats. Maybe I'll get some work done tomorrow, after orchestra of course, in which I'll do nothing but laugh during all the parts I'm supposed to be playing. Oh Tchaikovsky. You and your swans.

I spoke to actual people today without totally freaking out, which is nothing short of a minor accomplishment for me. You know how parents tell you never to talk to strangers? I took that to the extreme, since it still frightens me to talk to them.

In other news, wicked excited that Spring Training has started now. And I'm super excited for my date with my twin on Friday.

I really have no motivation to do any work right now.  Which blows, because I have to have a topic for my thesis, with a bit of in depth information, by tomorrow. So far, I've got a subject: mental health in prisons in the United States. Clearly should have attempted some work over this long weekend, but that would just have been silly. Watching The Office with Briana was much more important, and entertaining.

Law school applications are finally complete. Minus all the financial bullshit that's required. That will be complete Wednesday once I go to the post office and fork over even more money for these schools.

Liz booked her flight to Boston so our trip to South Carolina is a go! So excited for this ... it's basically keeping me sane through this last semester.

Usually these entries are just my ramblings about nothingness. I always feel like I should say something profound or remark on something going on in the news, but I can never some up with anything. However, how about this stimulus package? Do we even know what's in it yet? I love that MA (and I'm sure other states too) already has a list on what they'd like to spend the money on. Some of those items are ridiculous. They wouldn't jumpstart the economy, which is "essentially" the purpose of this bill to begin with. It's just a wishlist for some towns. Some of these things are really just what the Republicans are saying ... spending because the Dems finally can. We need work projects to provide more jobs while being something that should be fixed or spruced up, whether for safety reasons or whatever. Great example ... the Longfellow Bridge. When you have to tell Bostonians they can't stand on the bridge to watch the fireworks because it could collapse ... that's a good indication that the bridge's got to be fixed. Just my opinion.

Okay, so the networks really need to stop making television shows so addicting. Instead of finishing my law school applications (which are due soon ... stupid procrastinator), I've been watching The Mentalist and The Office. Not good. Well the shows are, my procrastination on the other hand, not so much.

Whatevs, that's life.

My birthday could not have come on a better day. What up President Obama!

Shoot me in the face. Right now. Stupid take home finals all being due on the same day. Roar.

OBAMA/BIDEN '08

I can't believe I became one of those people who gets angry and lashes out by punching walls.  But I did, although I punched my armoire.  And now I'm sort of regretting it.  My hand really hurts and has this nasty looking bruise forming.  Oh well, can't take it back now I guess.  Stupid LSATs and ruining my weekend.

I sill don't understand how you can put so much weight on one test in order to determine whether someone will succeed in life.  I don't test well, and I never have.  And I don't think that it should matter that much when one test is not a good determination of my academic ability.  Life blows right now, seriously.

And on top of this suckfest, I'm getting a cold. Roar.